Pages

Tuesday 24 May 2016

Hello! The Kitchen Mafia's Offers Are Hard To Refuse

One evening, a bunch of us went to Hello! at Section 17, Petaling Jaya, and had a good time. The four of us: Sam, Wendy, makan kaki Melody and I said hello to Hello! on a whim. Like many Klang Valley-dwellers, we were looking for something different, and the place delivered.


♪ Hello! from the outside~ ♫ Meet Happy Mansion's new dining hotspot.


Getting a seat, however, was difficult. When we'd decided to dine there, Melody was tasked with booking (yes) our table. Our schedule probably clashed with the dozens of others looking to have a taste of what the founding chefs had to offer.

Both had appeared on TV, it seems, and they ran an ultra-swanky place in Publika - is it still around? This restaurant in the Happy Mansion area was apparently their attempt at something different, too.

After some nail-biting minutes, Melody WhatsApped us with the good news.


The makeshift buffet, before we had to rearrange
the table. Photo by Samantha Fong.


"We have the bar seats. By the window. Look, it's SATURDAY, okay?"

Okay.

Though intrigued by the menu, we opted to combine a bunch of smaller items with one or two mains for an evening buffet of sorts. Sam and Wendy tried moving the furniture a little to enhance the experience, but our first layout blocked the counter.


Surprisingly tasty Duck Jerky (left) and the Lamb Massaman.
Photo by Samantha Fong.


The hostess, Amelia, suggested another way that worked for everyone, and applauded the duo's idea. "Bravo, you get points for creativity."

I don't think she was being sarcastic. And we ordered quite a bit.

The only thing I believe we weren't impressed by was the salted egg calamari. The batter coating was dry and there wasn't much salted egg sauce to begin with. Somebody in our group even thought the watercress soup was better in comparison. "At least it tastes home-made." Sadly, I didn't get a sip, so I can't say if it was.

The after-dinner brownie was a tad dry, probably because it was left out in the open (despite being covered) for too long. Maybe if it was fresh out of the oven...


We were sorry the nice Tortilla Seafood Pesto Pizza was so small.
Photo by Samantha Fong.


The Duck Jerky was a surprise. This posh version of a survivalist's staple is slightly chewy, smoky and sweet, with the burnt bits lending a little crunch. The pork-free menu marked the jerky and one other item as containing alcohol.

The Tortilla Seafood Pesto Pizza, which was just the right size for four, scored high among us as well. We also liked the Lamb Massaman, which was served with chunks of soft-centred bread. That allowed us to stuff the good and not-terribly-spicy lamb into the bread, like filling a pita pocket.


Hello, if it's mee you're looking for, Pak Johnny's Mee Rebus
should be up your alley. Photo by Samantha Fong.


If it's mee you're looking for, I believe Pak Johnny's Mee Rebus might be your thing. Sam and Wendy were particularly taken by the gravy, which was poured into the bowl of noodles and assorted garnishings from a pretty and tiny teapot. "It's just like pasembur gravy," Wendy noted.

The Drunken Chicken Liver Pâté came late, but it was worth the wait. I think the others arrived first because they were still preparing the pâté. It arrived on a wooden serving board with a stack of bread. But why decorate the board with shavings of Parmesan? That stuff isn't cheap.


Think they added a bit too much Chinese wine in the Drunken
Chicken Liver Pâté... hic! Photo by Samantha Fong.


By the time the pâté arrived, we were mostly full. I liked it most of all, even with the bitter, piquant tang of Chinese wine (Wendy confirmed it). That was a nice touch and an appropriate nod to the Chinese drunken chicken dish. I can't remember if I had polished the ramekin clean with my fingers - probably the wine.

We were also treated to more drama at the counter, where the manageress (I think) apologised to callers and patrons, citing lack of space ("Our weekends are quite busy!") and menu items. That evening, the "Asian Staples" were apparently sold out, except the mee rebus.

I was disappointed; I really wanted to find out what the chow mein was all about.

If you think this piece sounds rushed, that's because it is, to match that evening's dining pace: frenetic and kind of electric. That we had to sit at the window mattered little once our tongues were teased and bellies were filled.

Saying goodbye to Hello! was hard, but more guests were waiting at the door and sweeping their gazes across the dining room, resting longingly now and then at the empty tables with "Reserved" signs they probably hoped weren't there.

So, guys, who's booking for the next round?



Hello! by Kitchen Mafia
BG7, Jalan 17/13
Happy Mansion, Section 17
46400 Petaling Jaya

CLOSED FOR GOOD

Monday 23 May 2016

A Book Launch With A Kick And Sambal On The Side

Wesak Day 2016 also saw the launch of Sambal on the Side ... With a Kick by Brenda Benedict at MPH Nu Sentral, Kuala Lumpur, around 3pm.

Published by MPH Group Publishing, Sambal on the Side is a collection of selected articles from the writer and editorial consultant's long-running column of the same name, published in the local English-language daily The Star.


Sambal on the Side, sitting pretty among the props for
the Instagram contest


Edea Nor, from radio station Capital FM, emceed the launch, which was attended by colleagues from The Star, family members and friends. The programme included an Instagram book-styling competition, where the public was invited to take and Instagram creative photo compositions with the book; prizes include a RM30 voucher from MPH Bookstores.

Those who bought the book were also entitled to a free jar of sambal tumis, courtesy of cookbook author Marina Mustafa, who also published several cookbooks with MPH.

Brenda wrote the pieces in the book to deal with the discomfort of being uprooted from place to place as the wife of an expat. Husband Oliver Haas, a German native, had a job that sent him around the globe. So far, the couple have been to Vietnam, South Africa, Washington D.C. and Germany.


Emcee Edea Nor gets the crowd going for the event


"Neither expatriate mobility training nor travel guides adequately prepared me for the mundane matters of rooting and uprooting, and they tended to focus more on the 'what' and not the 'how'," said Brenda in the book. "So, I had to immerse myself mindfully into a 'discomfort zone', resulting in a fortnightly dispatch home of yet another occasion of having 'been-there-and-muddled-through-that.'"

Sambal, that spicy, sometimes pungent condiment known to many in Southeast Asia, became a balm for her homesickness, but on some days that pang needed something more potent.

"It was midwinter in Frankfurt," she recalled, "I had been horribly homesick and I was desperately seeking an avenue to vent. She pitched the idea for "a column about being a Malaysian abroad and trying to reconcile my 'Malaysianness' with an alien environment."


The author, Brenda Benedict (left) with the emcee. The talk show format
was decided upon for what would be called a "book launch party".


Brenda contacted The Star, and the editor of the paper's weekend supplement then, Sharifah Intan, gave the nod. Her first "Sambal on the Side" column was published in the Weekender section of The Star on 18 February 2006 and has been a staple in the newspaper ever since.

With regard to writing, Brenda started young. As the youngest child she was "left to her own devices", and she turned to books. Then, a teacher, the "fashionable" Ms Ho, introduced her to the late Sue Townsend's Adrian Mole. That was when the writing bug bit.

"I started fantasising ... imagined myself as "Adrianne Mole", lah," Brenda revealed. She also tended to rant in her own diary, particularly after a scolding from her dad.

"Did your dad ever read your stuff?" Edea asked.

"I think he did," Brenda speculated. "Curi-curi lah."


So much energy, these two


Brenda returned to Malaysia to launch her book. Mr Haas stayed behind at Bonn to unpack, having moved there from the United States. Poor fellow's a huge fan of Malaysian food, we were told, and he's making his despair at being at home known to the wife.

The author revealed that she would come home to wherever home was with a luggage (or was it two?) of Malaysian goodies, which she would hide somewhere. A typical day at work would begin with some white coffee from Ipoh, which her husband only gets to sample "on weekends".

The launch was special because 2016 marked the column's tenth year. Her friends and some family members had been asking for a compilation of her columns. Then, Oliver said she should put it together, too.

They brainstormed the concepts for the book, including categories for the articles that would go into it. The pair settled for ingredients for sambal, and Brenda turned to her social media network for seven things that every sambal should have.


Brenda Benedict signs a copy of her book after the interview


For the cover design and assorted graphics, MPH Publishing turned to a frequent collaborator. Arif Rafhan Othman was the artist behind Zan Azlee's non-fiction comic, Adventures of a KL-ite in Afghanistan.

The remarkable thing with Sambal on the Side was that Arif delivered what everybody wanted with the first drafts.

The artist was invited to share the limelight towards the end of the interview session, where he shared his experiences working on the book and what he hoped the book would achieve.

"There's a strong Malaysian vibe to this book," Arif said, "and I hope that readers will learn more about Malaysia from it, and not just the food."


Artist Arif Rafhan Othman (centre) takes the stage with the author and the
host. Brenda also showed off her fan - or is the interview heating up?


Brenda, meanwhile, wants readers to take a leaf out of her book and, once in a while, get out of their comfort zones and into "discomfort zones". "Only when you're in this discomfort zone, will you learn about your hidden strengths ... that's when your hidden strengths come to the fore."

She also espoused the uniqueness of the Malaysian melting pot and hopes that fellow Malaysians would be aware of and help to preserve it.

Other highlights of the launch included story about Vietnam, which Brenda calls the most challenging country she was in. Despite being briefed about the culture in Vietnam, the couple didn't seem prepared for the Vietnamese's fascination with Caucasians, the restaurant with all the snakes and stuff in glass jars, and a pesky rooster whose services were most certainly not required.


"When I came out of the car [the Vietnamese] were pointing and
laughing, because they weren't prepared for the hair!"


At the behest of some audience members, the host and Arif, the author gamely belted out a few verses from an Alleycats song. Her husband is a huge fan of this 1980s Malaysian band (is he really German?) and Brenda was a member of a singing group a la the Supremes in Germany, called the ... "The Discordant Aunties"?

Not only did she have the looks but the vocal chops as well. Unfortunately, she couldn't remember the rest of the lyrics.

The event was capped with a cake-cutting to celebrate the column's tenth anniversary, followed with a book-signing and wefie session with the author.


The cake - baked by the author's niece - is not a lie.


To Brenda, Arif, Edea, the folks at MPH @ Nu Sentral and all those who attended and bought copies of the book, Terima kasiii~!

Wednesday 18 May 2016

Minty Curry Sauce With Rice And Roast Pork

Fresh from my milestone one-pot chicken and mushroom rice, I moved onto another culinary thought experiment.

How would mint change a curry?

I sometimes revisit to Mom's sour, minty prawn curry in my memories, feeling the prawns against my teeth before they yielded, releasing their goodness and adding to the spices and fresh, earthy and astringent herb in the gravy.


Partial mise en place for a Sunday lunch. The sauce can be used
for anything you like.


Instead of a full-fledged dish, I opted to make a curry sauce with mint, which I would then blitz with a blender and bring to a boil with some pieces of roast pork. But had I put a bit more thought into it, I'd have used red onion rather than shallot, because shallots are harder to prep.

I chopped the shallots roughly anyhow, since it was all going to be blended. I used fresh red chillies for heat and colour, along with a tomato, grated ginger and garlic, curry powder and a bit of turmeric powder.

The shallots were pan-fried first, and it seemed to be smoother and took less time with the wok than the stainless steel pot. The grated ginger and garlic went in, followed by the tomatoes. The whole mess soon cooked to a satisfying pulp that's well on its way towards gravy-hood.


The wok worked well. Too bad it didn't come with a lid. Nor were
there any pot lids available for it.


A quick taste made me reach for the pot of salt. A good pinch went in, then a good stir to mix it well.

I lowered the heat and tossed in the sliced chillies, seeds and all, and stirred for a bit before adding the curry and turmeric powders. Once well stirred and cooked, I switched off the flame and allowed the spice paste to cool, while checking the rice.

Yes, I had some brown rice cooking around the same time. At first, I thought I'd "use the same amount of rice" I did for the previous dish. But it turned out that the amount was just right for me. Though a good handful ended up stuck to the bottom of the pot.


The mint leaves went in whole before blitzing.


Excited to see the grains bubbling along nicely, I returned to the spice paste.

Oh dear, oh dear, might I need to add water? Thinking for a bit, I remembered the now-frozen left-over chicken stock from the previous day. I cut open the carton and scraped about two heaped tablespoons of the slushy stock to flavour the spice paste and cool it further.

I would add water later, when flushing out whatever sauce that was stuck in the blender pitcher after a good whizz with some fresh mint leaves.

One ringgit got me a small bunch of mint which was not in good shape overall, but it was fresh. I picked the better leaves and froze them in a zip-lock bag for later use.


Minty curry gravy, post-blitz. Would butter, yoghurt
or cream have made it better?


I think I used several leaves too many. Some of them were big leaves, too. But it did taste different and nice.

Hungry and impatient, I dropped the "push mixture through the sieve" step and returned the blitzed gravy to the wok. I tossed most of the roast pork into the bubbling mix and let it simmer for a bit. My word, the aroma. What a time to run out of butter.

Pouring the finished dish into a bowl, I couldn't resist putting a finishing touch to it.


Now it has way too much mint. Pretty, though, don't you think?


Did I, as makan kaki Melody put it, nail this dish. I'm not sure. Maybe I wasn't meant to. Curry is complicated and, after about a dozen attempts, one should be grateful that it's edible.

The taste was okay, but way too much mint. A sprinkle of sweetening might have made it better, but that got lost in the haze of cook, mind the pot, mind the stove and clean as you go. I'm terribly OCD about the latter - three or more dirty utensils (including cutlery and crockery) in the sink and I get uncomfortable.

Curries are best eaten with rice. Nothing soaks up and holds the gravy quite like it.


Upon tasting and reflection, curry rice sounds more
natural than curry pasta. DROOL PLZ.


Because of that, I will "nail" this dish. Or get as close to nailing it as possible.

Monday 16 May 2016

Book Marks: Malaysia, Singapore, And Elsewhere

In the wake of the 2016 KL International Book Festival, sales of books are reportedly down by thirty per cent. Among factors blamed for this include "budget slashes in the education sector, fall of the ringgit and consumers who are tightening their belts."

Much has also been said about the accessibility of the venue, which I can attest to after attending a Big Bad Wolf books sale there once. And I heard that officers from the Home Ministry had been prowling the book fest venue and issuing orders forbidding publishers from selling certain titles.

Also: newly minted national literary laureate Datuk Zurinah Hassan is worried about Gen-Y's apparent love of racy pulp fiction. Datuk Zurinah told national news agency Bernama that "the popularity of low-quality fiction would have negative implications on the publication of more academic-oriented reading materials (hmm), as well as put the dampers on efforts to create a smart and knowledgeable generation."

And Mutalib Uthman, co-founder and CEO of of indie publisher DuBook Press, is stepping down. I wonder what he thinks of Datuk Zurinah's assertions.

Several Malaysian writers: Gina Yap, Ted Mahsun and Fadzlishah Johanabas regale online magazine Rojak Daily with their experiences in publishing.



Singapore-based publisher Epigram Books scores four wins at the Singapore Book Awards:

...half of the eight awards given out, including awards such as Best Fiction Title, which went to Amanda Lee Koe's short story collection Ministry Of Moral Panic, and Book Of The Year, for the special cover edition of Sonny Liew's graphic novel The Art Of Charlie Chan Hock Chye.

The Rock And The Bird by author Chew Chia Shao Wei was named Best Young Adults' Title, while Lingzi Media's The Search, by Chinese writer and illustrator Lee Kow Fong, won Best Children's Title.

Meanwhile, the works of Singaporean Tamil writers are featured at a book fair in Chennai. The piece could be a bit more detailed, though.

Oh, and a bunch of Singlish items have just been added to the Oxford English Dictionary. But shouldn't some of those be Manglish as well?



Over at The Daily Beast, Malcolm Jones thinks "it's high time we let Rudyard Kipling out of the penalty box:

"The truth is, Kipling wrote a lot of ill-conceived garbage and he wrote a lot of truly wonderful fiction as well, and it’s usually not at all hard to tell the difference. Even when it is, the effort is justified. Pondering how a writer so good could occasionally go so wrong forces us to contemplate how all of us, even the most enlightened, can be swayed and deluded by the assumptions and beliefs that hold sway in the times in which we live."



"I just don't find American literature interesting" and other stuff from Jessa Crispin, who has shut down her pioneering book blog Bookslut early in May.

"Running it takes a lot of time," Crispin told The Vulture, with regard to the blog, "and it makes no money so I’ve been pouring money into it for 14 years. We always were trying to figure out ways to keep it going. I had a meeting with my managing editor and we went through all these ideas and nothing seemed viable and we said, 'Oh, we should just close it, shouldn’t we?' "

RIP, Bookslut. But I hope Crispin will still be talking about books and stuff.



"Academic writing services" - a profile of a freelance dissertation writer or, as some would put it, ghostwriter for lazy students. This guy, however, is apparently conducting a vendetta with his job.

[Marek] Jezek (pseudonym) is originally from DR Congo, and describes a network of black academics from African backgrounds that are unable to find work in universities.

"In a sense it's an emotional retribution for a wrong that's been done to me," he says, "For me it is a way of satisfying myself and satisfying my ego, because I'm feeling rejected unfairly. I get a bit of emotional satisfaction when a student gives me a call and tells me he got 70% or 80% for the work I did."

Interesting.


Also:

  • The looming threat to the Australian book industry, according to Susan Hawthorne, "co-founder and Director of Spinifex Press" and "English Language Co-ordinator of the International Alliance of Independent Publishing based in Paris" (profile from The Guardian). Looks like the Australian book industry, like its wilderness, is also a unique ecosystem.
  • YA novel Bright Star by Erin Swan was selected by a computer algorithm for publication by Inkitt and Tor. However, the blog Writer Beware remains "skeptical of Inkitt's 'data driven' approach." Should editors and literary agents be afraid? Well, they said e-books would soon kill print too, didn't they?
  • Discussion panels on LGBT issues and Indonesia’s 1965 tragedy went on during the ASEAN Literary Festival (ALF) in Jakarta, despite protests from religious groups. Kudos to the organisers of ALF for standing firm. On a remotely related note, some Indonesian writers and literacy activists recently protested against the banning of books by the Indonesian military "in an apparent attempt to prevent a feared revival of communism."
  • Reader and book critic John Self (assuming that is his name) on reading. No excerpts from me. It's really long, but worth a read.
  • Useful for anyone writing recipe books: ten pet peeves of a cookbook copy editor by copyeditor Suzanne Fass, who wrote a post for the blog of writing coach, author and freelance editor Dianne Jacob.

Friday 13 May 2016

Of Heroes And Food At Gee & Geek

first published in The Malay Mail Online, 13 May 2016


The skies poured as makan kaki Melody and I arrived at Gee & Geek. Earlier, one of our dinner companions Instagrammed a video of the place. Odd, that there was so much daylight. Turned out they'd been there for about an hour already.

Not long after we arrived, copies of the menu were pounced upon, while peckish Melody also entertained herself with the nacho crumbs left by our companions. All of us had been here at least once before.


The sign at Gee & Geek wasn't lit until after I took a few shots.


Located near the Taman Bahagia LRT station, Gee & Geek boasted specialties made with their house-made bacon and roast pork belly. We joined Pat; her boyfriend, Ted; and Windy (yes), a mutual acquaintance of Pat and Melody's. Ted was also scouting for venues for a Mother's Day dinner; he would book a table at G&G for it later.

We decided on picking five items and sharing these - quickly, because at least one dinner party would be arriving and Melody was hungry. "Order now!" she went, "before the other guests overwhelm the kitchen!"

Names of menu items went back and forth among us. "The salted egg yolk pasta?" someone piped up, referring to the G&G crown jewel, a pasta drenched in a sauce of salted duck-egg yolk and garnished with curry leaves, slices of cili padi and a few chunks of roast pork.

"That is a must-have when eating here," Ted assured us. "Always on the list by default."


G&G's Creamy Bacon Pasta, with egg and creamy wobbly yolk.


Drinks were a bit trickier. When the lone waitress came for our order and Melody asked for a flat white, I asked whether it would be okay to have my Frosted Mint Chocolate later. At her hesitation, I caved and said, "Okay, bring it now."

Said waitress would come back to confirm our order, tell us that the roast pork was still in the oven and would be piping hot when it came out. They also gave us small plates with cutlery, knowing we'd be sharing. Wished I'd left a bigger tip.

I liked the flat white - sorry, Melody's flat white. Strong, with a double shot of espresso. At a coffee appreciation session in KL earlier, Pat was informed that flat whites generally don't have milk foam on top and, hence, no latte art. "Many cafes in KL add that layer of milk foam," she added. "And cold-brew coffees have more caffeine than espresso-based drinks."



Isn't it typical of some Malaysians to have breakfast around the clock?


Still, this coffee was too strong for my current mood. So I much preferred the Frosted Mint Chocolate. I even asked for another after we were done with the meal.

When the Creamy Bacon Pasta arrived, Pat got Ted to swirl the plate to wobble the yolk of the poached egg on top so that she could shoot another video. I cut short the debate on who should break the yolk by driving my fork through it.

Stop looking, guys. It's not like I just killed someone.

I found chunks of what tasted like roast pork belly in a sauce I thought was a bit sweet for a carbonara - probably to balance the savoury bacon, which wasn't terribly salty. No complaints all around.



Grilled Salmon Steak, with garlic cream sauce, butter-poached
vegetables and coleslaw.


Most of the smartphone cameras rushed to grab shots of the GG Big Breakfast when it arrived. Somebody (me, I think) complained of the low light. Though the helpful waitress suggested moving the dish to a better-lit table, Windy volunteered by turning on her phone's flashlight feature.

Not much can be said about the breakfast set - nothing bad, anyway. But Melody was impressed by the scrambled eggs sitting on the toast. Few places, she would say, can get the eggs right.

We did feel bad for the A La Goma Grilled Chicken Pasta, which remained mostly neglected. It's not bad by itself, though the goma (Japanese for sesame) sauce and chicken paled in comparison with the other items on the table.



G&G's signature Roast Pork and Salted Egg-yolk Pasta


The last time I came here, I surprised Melody by ordering the grilled salmon. I was craving a little fish after eating land animals for a long stretch. This time, we got one large salmon steak instead of the two small ones I was served, and more broccoli. The fish was fine, though the sauce might be a little salty to some.

(For some reason, there's another "Grilled Salmon Steak" on the menu, perhaps a no-frills version of the one we had.)

Generally, "house specials" are rarely worth the hype on the menu. Not the salted egg-yolk pasta, however. Reminiscent of Chinese "butter cream-sauced" dishes, with the cili padi and curry leaves, it hit all the right notes.

The roast pork provided a hearty meaty touch to the dish, and the skin was delightfully crunchy, pairing really well with the rich, creamy sauce. I thought it could have used more chilli.

By now, none of us could take another bite. Almost every dish had cream in it. So I recoiled when Ted, at one point, dipped his spoon into a pool of amber-hued oil in the plate for a taste.

You're in medical research, dude. Shouldn't you know better? Knowing him, however, he'd just shrug and say, "YOLO."

What a wonderful evening. The rain had stopped when we'd nearly emptied our last round of drinks.

As if G&G's staff couldn't be more helpful, Melody got her milk tea done "Hong Kong style" by the barista. Of course, after she bombarded the poor waitress with questions about the beverage ("I want to know what I'm getting," Melody said, a tad imperious) and trying her luck with "Can you do it Hong Kong style?"

And when I stopped outside to take a photo, they turned on the lights to illuminate the sign.

Real heroes, this bunch of geeks. I almost forgave them for putting the Green Goblin on a list of superhero-themed drinks.



Gee & Geek
No 46, Jalan SS 2/4a
47300 Petaling Jaya

CLOSED FOR GOOD

Monday 9 May 2016

Remembering Roger Ebert: One-Pot Chicken Rice

About three years ago, the famed writer and film critic Roger Ebert passed away. The news brought back memories of an article he wrote, extolling the virtues of the humble one-switch rice cooker.

Back then, I'd barely cooked anything myself, even though I'd written about food for a couple of publications. When told of this during a lunch date, Em, a journalist and former colleague, was surprised. She believed that to write about food, one must have cooked some - or risk looking like a hypocrite.


Partial mise en place for the one-pot rice. Counter-clockwise from top
left: one large yellow onion, chopped; eight brown mushrooms, sliced;
brown rice; and two (I think) cloves of garlic, finely chopped.


The H-word made me uncomfortable, to say the least.

Not too long after that, I started trying out simple recipes, from Western-style carrot and mushroom soups to pastas and curries. I'd even prepared food for other people, a couple of times.

Recipes for rice-based dishes, however, remained untouched. I managed to find plenty of excuses to put it off. Until the day I ran out of cooking gas.


Marinated chicken, cut into pieces. Didn't think it and all the mushrooms
and onion would brown properly in the rice pot, so...


On impulse, I took home a plain rice cooker - after paying for it, of course. The same kind of pot Ebert used for the one-pot dishes in his article. I used it to boil my pastas at first, because the left-over basil pesto I made was dying in the fridge. Spurred by minor successes in this, I began contemplating those one-pot recipes, starting with a rice dish.

So on Saturday, I assembled the ingredients.

Nothing complicated: just brown rice, chicken, brown mushrooms and mixed Italian herbs, with one chopped yellow onion, a bit of garlic, and chicken stock. The chicken - two deboned drumsticks - was marinated overnight with salt, pepper, mixed herbs, finely chopped garlic and rice bran oil.

As I prepped the ingredients, problems emerged: too much chicken, too much mushroom (about eight went in, the whole small pack, basically) and too much onion for one person - and one 1.8-litre rice pot to handle. So much for frying everything in that pot first. I was also spooked by several power outages in my area recently, including one that happened in the afternoon.


New wok to the rescue! Properly browned chicken (and
everything else), at last.


So I browned the marinated chicken, which I cut into pieces, in a made-in-China non-stick wok without additional oil. The utensil worked pretty well for what I assumed was a knock-off, and I ended up pan-frying everything I used in it. I fished out the chicken and left a bit of the juices and fat on the wok for the next stage.

Most of the chopped yellow onion was browned and reduced quicker in the wok on medium heat; it would've burned in the stainless steel pot I'd been using before. "Most", because I'd set aside some raw chopped onion as a "vegetable" to be added to the pot to cook.

Or maybe the onions got "browned" by the mushrooms that followed. Once the 'shrooms were sufficiently sweated out, a bit of chopped garlic went in.


Browned chicken reunited with sauteed mushrooms, onion and garlic.


The superbly browned chicken (by the wok) went back into the wok for a few tosses, then, the brown rice. Earlier, I'd washed and soaked the rice in water for a bit, according to the instructions on the pack, for softer rice. Of course, I drained it first.

(So, technically, not a one-pot meal. Sorry, Mr Ebert.)

A few minutes later, all of it went into the rice pot, with a sprinkling of more mixed herbs and chicken stock. Instead of the rice cup, I used the blue earthenware rice bowl, with a helpful border near the top. One measure of rice to two and a half measures of chicken stock. I also tossed in a couple of good-sized cloves of crushed garlic.

At the last minute though, I added a sprinkling more rice and a bit of water, just in case. This was the first time I cooked rice in this apartment.


Raw brown rice getting tossed with the good stuff. Coming together nicely.


After turning on the pot, I ended up adding a bit more rice, with a bit more water. I didn't mind if it turned out a bit soggy. A short while later, I wondered why the pot wasn't scalding hot. One look at the control panel and- silly me, I didn't set it to "Cook".

Unlike the pasta, I didn't have to mind the pot so much. While boiling pasta, the water would bubble violently and creep out of the pot, creating a mess. The designer had the foresight to put the power socket under one of the handles, to keep spills away. Sone would argue that all the other ingredients with the rice would minimise violent bubbling.

It must've been about half an hour or so before the pot decided that the rice was ready. Even before it was set to "Keep Warm" the pot was releasing aromas of cooked chicken, mushrooms and herbs. If I'd used arborio rice it would've made for a workmanlike risotto.


One-pot chicken and mushroom rice, ready for lift-off in the new rice
cooker. Another milestone in the kitchen.


The result? Delicious.

So delicious, I went out to specifically buy microwaveable takeaway containers and pack a portion for makan kaki Melody. Her input was crucial, and I had a good feeling about this important dish.

"Yummy", came her verdict via WhastApp. "Like claypot chicken rice." Which is not a bad thing.

Of course there was a hiccup. A lot of my kitchen adventures have at least one.

Scraping the bottom of the pot, I found blackened bits which I thought was burnt rice and stuff. Scraping a bit more, most of the black bits came off easier than I'd expected. But the taste ... savoury, strong and Marmite-like. I suspect that, because I didn't stir the pot intermittently while it cooked (does one have to?), some of the goodness at the bottom caramelised and started to burn.


Finished product, with a clump of dried mixed herbs on top.
And the bottom of the pot had something else...


I ended up cooking enough for four fastidious people or a pair of famished ones. One measure of rice, I would learn, was enough for a hearty meal for one epicurean editor, provided the dishes were good.

Most of all, I'd fulfilled a vow - kind of - to the late Roger Ebert. I'll be cooking more rice dishes for sure now, as I'm starting to get tired of pasta. And I'll be writing more entries like these with the hope that more people will take the plunge themselves. These are different times, though, where more young people are already doing more, and not just with rice cookers.

When they'd heard of me boiling pasta with a rice cooker, several Facebook friends, including Em, responded with messages of encouragement. Their input was also important, particularly Em's. She provided what I believed was the final nudge.


Here's looking at you, Mr Ebert. Thanks for everything.


"So," I wrote in reply to Em's comment, "So... can I write about food now? *looks hopeful*"

Her response: "Hahah yes. Clearly *tongue emoticon*"

My rice was yummy, but so is validation for a dish well done.

Sunday 1 May 2016

Book Marks: Cassava, Google, And Barcelona Bookstores

Sarah Ladipo Manyika, an author with Cassava Republic Press, explains her decision to work with an African publisher.

Some people are sceptical about my decision to work with an African publisher, especially given the fact that I live in America and have access to American and European agents. They ask: does my decision make economic sense? Will an African publisher do as well as a western publisher? Behind these polite enquiries, the real question that I feel is being asked is whether an African publisher can be as good as a European or an American. The assumption is that the west does things better than Africa.



The US Authors Guild's appeal to stop Google from scanning millions of books has been rejected by the US Supreme Court. Which means that "the books, both in and out of copyright, are included in Google Books, which enables users to read extracts from books and search their texts."

This verdict sounds pretty far-reaching.



Barcelona's bookstores are reinventing themselves to survive. One apparently added a cafeteria and offered cooking classes, and hosts events in its premises.

"We had to change. Either we reinvented ourselves or it was really impossible to stay open," said Montserrat Serrano, owner of said bookstore, +Bernat.

I said a little more about the future of bookstores - especially indies - a while back, and I'd like to see how this develops.


  • More books have recently been banned, including Grey, a.k.a. (Fifty Shades of Grey As Told By Christian) and Orang Ngomong Anjing Gonggong by DuBook Press. So now, you have more items on your shelf that will get you fined, jailed or both. Another book by another indie publisher, Merpati Jingga, was forbidden to sell the book, Kriminalisasi Ganja, at the 2016 KL International Book Festival.
  • For those who can't get enough of Zen Cho, here's "The Four Generations of Chang E", a short sci-fi story loosely based on the myth of the moon fairy. As Washington Post books section editor Ron Charles would say, "So. Poignant." WARNING: May shrivel the egos of aspiring writers of fiction.
  • History was made as Dr Zurinah Hassan, better known by her pen name, "Haniruz", recently became Malaysia's first-ever female recipient of the National Laureate Award.
  • "In one spasm of violence, they burned just about everything they could find". Salon speaks with Joshua Hammer about his book, The Bad-Ass Librarians of Timbuktu. Among the "bad-ass" librarians highlighted in the book is Abdel Kader Haidara, whose story, on National Geographic, I'd bookmarked several years ago.

Wednesday 27 April 2016

When People Thought There Was A Microsoft *Swear Word*

A Facebook post with a vulgar punchline had me chuckling and reminiscing about a linguistic faux pas years back.

In 2007, someone had published a paper on what I think was a hypothetical software tool for evaluating variables in object-oriented programming, possibly to shorten processing times.

For some reason, this fellow decided to call this software tool "Cib*i", short for "Class Invariants By *bstract Interpretation".

When the contents of this paper eventually reached Southeast Asia, the local techies and software people went wild. Because "cib*i" in the local vernacular means something else.

Naturally, few could resist the opportunity to throw a few off-colour puns. Some were puzzled - how could Microsoft, a huge multinational with a ton of resources, not be aware of this word and its significance? Wouldn't an Internet search have prevented a few red faces?

Probably not.

Anecdotes abound of word in one language meaning something else in another; long ago, it was said that the word "Malaya" raised a few eyebrows in Africa when our troops went over there for a mission - anybody else remember that?

Besides, who has the time to look for words online when immersed in lines of code and math formulae? Fiction writers probably have it worse - imagine the research to make sure their made-up words or names don't inadvertently offend people of different cultures.

One could argue that, as the world gets more interconnected, fewer excuses can be made for cib*i-like howlers that can have pandemic-like effects on business entities. At their speeds these days, bad news will find alien life in outer space before we do.

In the end, it's just not worth it. Invent your words, writers, and hope that more people will laugh rather than get angry. No offence meant, after all. And I believe people give Microsoft too much credit.

I'd already left the IT industry when news alleging Microsoft's "hottest product" of that year rippled across this region's social media sphere. The company later clarified that the author of the paper had not joined it when it was published, nor was anything of the sort being developed in its labs - at least, not with that name.

Although the word was scrubbed from Microsoft's web sites, the original paper in PDF format remains and can still be downloaded - perhaps to maintain archival integrity (this actually happened) and as a cautionary tale for others to #PlzDunCib*i.

So, if somebody asks you the meaning of a word and you know it's offensive, you don't cib*i and say it's a greeting or something congratulatory, okay?

(Yes, I wrote this as an excuse to swear. The past couple of weeks have been tough.)

Sunday 24 April 2016

Fixi Novo Gets Kinokuniya Heated Up, Fleshed Out And Trashed

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to London..."

Ouch. Hope the folks at Kinokuniya KLCC weren't offended.

So began the Kuala Lumpur launch of Heat, Flesh and Trash, a trio (triptych, maybe?) of "Southeast Asian urban anthologies" by Malaysian publisher Fixi Novo, last Friday evening at Kinokuniya. The titles were taken from the "Paul Morrissey Trilogy" produced by Andy Warhol.


Urban Southeast Asian anthologies Heat, Flesh and Trash, now
available at all major bookstores, including Kinokuniya KLCC.


And it looks like Fixi boss Amir Muhammad hasn't quite left the 2016 London Book Fair yet.

Seems that, from the time Amir saw the trilogy, he wondered if he could produce something that used the three words. These books were the result. Also, the key word was "fun". I suppose that makes sense, keeps things interesting and probably explains the popularity and relative longevity of the brand(s).

(And the good news keep coming. You guys know that Fixi, through its latest offshoot Grafixi, managed to obtain the rights to translate the back catalogue of DC Comics into Malay?)


Fixi boss Amir Muhammad emceed the event and handed out giveaways
for the contributors to the anthologies.


These three anthologies, along with another volume called Little Basket, premiered at the LBF in what was Malaysia's first official appearance. Though the stories are set in urban Southeast Asia, the contributors and editors came from all over the globe.

Of course, glitches couldn't be avoided. Amir reported that in spite of the guidelines, the editorial team received stories set in Japan (Far East) and India (South Asia). Lots of India-centric submissions, apparently. "So we sent them rejections, along with a link on Wikipedia about Southeast Asia," Amir said in his usual fashion. Some of us might have hoped he did.

To represent this corner of the world, only the durian would do. Artist moribayu was commissioned for the cover images, depicting the king of fruits in "stages of undress". Despite not knowing Amir very well, Mori submitted his work anyway. "He's trusting, prompt and quite good, so if you want some art done, call him."

Right, the contributors.


Amir, with Zed Adam Idris.


Strangely, none of the editors showed up. Some of them were from abroad and one contributor, Terence Toh, was in London, apparently. Those who were present (only a few) got up to answer a few questions and receive either copies of books their stories were in, or RM75 (each book is priced at about RM25) to spend on something else. Amir handed the money on stage: "As you can see we're transparent about our money."

I don't remember much about the first guy, Zed Adam Idris, only that his "semi-autobiographical" story, "Method" (in Heat), is set in KL, about a guy who reminisces about his past during binges of drugs and sex.

Next was- oh, dear, Catalina, haven't you recovered from that stress-related thing you mention on that other book launch? "Yes," she said, "but something else followed." Hard-working to a fault, that one.


With Catalina Rembuyan.


Catalina Rembuyan is no stranger to the writing scene, but her participation in this project (and Little Basket) surprised me a little. Her story in Heat, "Reservoir Park", was about voyeurism.

She said this park is in her hometown of Kuching, and back in the day parents prohibited their kids from going there, perhaps for fear they would be up to no good behind bushes and stuff. The title was also a play on the word "voyeur", as in "rese-voyeur".

Ted Mahsun, meanwhile, has made a name for himself as one of those spearheading the development of Malaysian sci-fi writing. Don't take my word for it, Amir suggested that, too. I think his story, "And The Heavens Your Canopy" was about ... window cleaners?


Part of the audience at the launch that evening. The guy in glasses and
dark blue shirt is the artist @moribayu (not sure if that's how it's
spelled), who drew the durians on the covers.


Zedeck Siew had the distinction of appearing in two books: "The Lordly Dragon" in Heat, and "Mrs. Chandra's War Against Dust" in Trash. I'm relying on Smashwords (thank you!) to fill some gaps.

Too bad I couldn't remember most of Amir's jokes. Fixi's boss has impeccable comic timing, and you should've been there. Fortunately, Fixi launches quite a few books each year, so you'll have a chance to see him in action.

Well, my memory was really shit by the time Flesh was introduced. This volume got the most submissions, more than double for the other two. Unfortunately, many involved Thai prostitutes - which says a lot about some people's perceptions about Southeast Asia. And I doubt Jimmy Kimmel eating a durian at Jessica Chastain's insistence helps.


With Eeleen Lee, who also gave some writing advice during the
brief Q&A session.


Amir also took time to talk about submissions by Filipinos, which impressed him. "They're very professionally formatted," he said. "They also include their names, addresses, word counts, and so on. So they've done this a lot. Filipinos have many stories to tell and they want to share them."

I'd suggest getting Malaysians to submit like Filipinos, but getting them to tell stories good like Filipinos is already an uphill task. One thing at a time.

Of course, expect subtle digs at the situation at home. When introducing Julie Koh, an Australian born to Chinese Malaysians, Amir was all, "See, all the good ones migrate to Australia. Look at the bunch we have to put up with."

Before Julie began talking, he pointed out, "Pay attention to her Australian accent." So that's why I can't recall what she said or what her story in Heat, "The Procession", was about, other than the fact that it was funny and satirical.


With Zedeck Siew. Zedeck's work appeared in two books, Heat and Trash.


And: "If you guys want to migrate to Australia, look for Julie."

Sure.

At some point Zedeck returned to the "stage" to talk about his other story, "Mrs Chandra's War". Air noted that he had disagreements with him and several other writers about a few potentially problematic sentences.

One of those were, "He closed his eyes and recited the yassin." Or something like that. These and other to-and-fros went on up till the last minute, complicated by the fact that the contributors were everywhere.

Amir, however, noted that the Malaysian Indian dialogue in "Mrs. Chandra's War" was almost pitch perfect. "Did you have to listen to actual Malaysian Indians talk to get it right?" he asked Zedeck, who replied, "I try." No clues as to who his muses were, though.

But is Zedeck's stuff good? Well, an acquaintance who bought Trash that evening loved his and Ted Mahsun's stories. Of course, I knew she'd buy Trash, and I told her so. "Because there's treasure in trash," she said. Mic drop.


With Julie Koh. Her parents migrated to Australia, so I guess she's as
Australian as Aussie lawmaker Penny Wong.


Besides some background in her story, "The Forsakers" in Heat (okay, pairing certain story titles with the book title might not be a good idea all the time), Eeleen Lee gave some advice to aspiring writers who want to be published. She made that distinction because she knows someone who writes and writes but prefers to "sit on them".

For those who want to be published, she said, "First, you gotta hustle. Keep an eye out for calls for submissions and submit." And pay attention to the guidelines. Otherwise, I think, you'll get URLs to more Wikipedia articles in your rejections.


With sci-fi specialist Ted Mahsun. I believe he blogs at Pena Saifai.


"Second," Lee said, "Don't write shit." Nobody can emphasise this enough, it seems. "Don't wallow in, 'Oh, they don't like what I write', etc. Sit yourself down with a dictionary and a group of beta readers and fix your stuff."

I think Lee also recommended a thick skin. "Don't be upset with what people write about your stuff in The Star," she added. She recalled something another publisher said about her writing, without naming names.

"So, what did ***** say?" Amir helpfully chipped in, drawing laughter and several groans of dread from the audience. He's done this before and, no, I've helped you out enough already.


With Tilon Sagulu.


Tilon Sagulu also contributed to Trash. His is "Bleeding Trash". For the same volume, Dr M. SHANmughalingam wrote "Flowers for KK", a story about two sisters and ... some kind of sweet.

Also present was Foo Sek Han, whose stories did not appear in the books being launched. I just felt the need to point out that he was there. Foo couldn't be present at the launch of PJ Confidential but, through an intermediary, said that his contribution is great.

So Heat, Flesh and Trash are on sale everywhere now, including at Daunt Books in London. The bookstore chain begun yonks ago, specialising in travel books, before it was bought over by former banker James Daunt and became Daunt Books in 1990.

Daunt's is now a bookstore chain and publishes as well. Books in the stores are arranged by country, regardless of genre.


With Dr M. SHANMughalingam.


Like in that other book launch, I can't recall much of this one, probably because I'm older now, and before leaving, I had a conversation about how gadget manufacturers enforce obsolescence in their products, and how powerful smartphone cameras are these days.

Among other things, I was told that the new Samsung S7 can take crisp pictures in "one-candle" levels of low light. And not to buy cheap laptops (uh-oh), because I balked at RM3,000-plus smartphones. Many of these things are expensive for a reason.


After-event group photo. Partially obscured (from left to right) are
Ted Mahsun, Zed Adam Idris and Zedeck Siew. And that's @moribayu
standing between Tilon Sagulu and Julie Koh.


On forced obsolescence: is it true that the cellphone networks are being upgraded to at least 3G, which means older phones like my old Nokia 3310 can't even call out?

The things you learn at book launches.

Tuesday 19 April 2016

Sambal Keeps This Globetrotter Grounded

"I've always loved sambal, whether served with my favourite nasi lemak, spread on a slice of Gardenia white bread, or plain neat," writer and editorial consultant Brenda Benedict writes in her new book, Sambal on the Side ... With a Kick.

But it wasn't until she became a travelling expat wife that she was hard-pressed to make it on her own.

Sambal, that spicy, sometimes pungent condiment many in Southeast Asia are familiar with, became a balm for her homesickness, but on some days that pang needed something more potent.

"It was midwinter in Frankfurt," she recalls, "I had been horribly homesick and I was desperately seeking an avenue to vent. She pitched the idea for "a column about being a Malaysian abroad and trying to reconcile my 'Malaysianness' with an alien environment."

Her first "Sambal on the Side" column was published in the Weekender section of The Star on 18 February 2006 and has been a staple in the newspaper ever since.

A selection of her columns are now in this compilation, published by MPH Group Publishing.

"Neither expatriate mobility training nor travel guides adequately prepared me for the mundane matters of rooting and uprooting, and they tended to focus more on the 'what' and not the 'how'," says Brenda. "So, I had to immerse myself mindfully into a 'discomfort zone', resulting in a fortnightly dispatch home of yet another occasion of having 'been-there-and-muddled-through-that.'"

“These days whenever someone asks me how the Germans are, I usually say, ‘They’re like M&Ms. Once you bite through that shell, they’re really quite sweet!’”

And what a lot of muddling she's done: riding with leather-clad bikers in the U.S., separating rubbish in Germany, and haggling with "hugging taxi" drivers in Vietnam. Her unvarnished accounts of life on the go are sassy and at times spicy, like the taste of home she craves every now and then.

Each chapter has a mix of "everything": travelogue, factbook, memoir, introspection and maybe a couple of other things I can't find words for. Complex, like the condiment this collection is associated with, and more like sambal than one would think.

Although the book covers several countries: the United States, Germany and Vietnam, I seem to detect a special affection for Germany, her "second home", in the related pieces. The husband, I understand, is German.

“Many people often say that Washington, D.C. does not reflect the real America. They are correct to a certain extent.”

There's a certain familiarity and warmth when she relates, among other things, her quest to spike the shenanigans of some poo-some pigeons, encounters with "Denglish" (German-English) words, and her failure to spook her German friends with ghost stories - and failing because, apparently, Germans "don't have" ghost stories. But weren't the Brothers Grimm Germans?

As Brenda puts it, with regard to the latter: "This is a piece that I enjoyed writing, and I chose to feature it here because there couldn't be a starker clash of cultures than how the paranormal is dealt with in Malaysia and in my second home, Germany.

"I had written this in conjunction with Halloween, a day that still isn't much of a big deal Germany and where many still dismiss it as more of a commercial import from the U.S."

Like Christmas, maybe?

“During my initial days in Hanoi, it was a matter of trial and error in figuring out [which mobile street vendor] sold what. I also learnt that tinkling bells don’t always announce icy sweet treats.”

But it's not all from The Star At least one unpublished story - one about African music that will make you want to check out the names. "What I loved most were the rich and melodious harmonies that I feel only singers of African descent have been blessed to deliver with such élan," Brenda gushes.

Another unpublished piece highlights a few adventures she's shared with her husband, and it left me wishing their marriage would be long and interesting in good ways. Sounds like somebody's dream life.

The "kick", meanwhile, comes from short notes appended to each story, which explain why they were written and whether her perspectives have changed since then.

"As I revisited my columns, it became evident how my initial tenor on some subjects has either changed (or remained) or been adapted or moderated," says Brenda.

Evidently, Brenda's penchant for languages, curiosity for cultures, and sense of humour have served her well. Over time, she realised that rooting and uprooting require patience and fortitude, and the ability to laugh and let go when things go spectacularly wrong.

And: "I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I have recounting them."



Brenda Benedict is a Malaysian writer and editorial consultant who has travelled, worked and lived in different continents. She has been a columnist with The Star since 2006. Her first book, Sambal on the Side ... With a Kick, will be available at all major bookstores.

The author herself is scheduled to be in Malaysia on 21 May at MPH Bookstore @ NU Sentral, 2:30pm, to launch the book and meet readers. Keep watching this space for updates.



Sambal on the Side ... With a Kick
A Malaysian's Take On Living Abroad

Brenda Benedict
MPH Group Publishing (April 2016)
322 pages
Non-fiction
ISBN: 978-967-415-330-4

Buy from Kinokuniya | MPHOnline.com

Monday 18 April 2016

Book Marks: Silly Novels, Boycotts, And Shortlists

I usually avoid certain news portals, which is why I miss gems like this, from the NST (thank you, Sharon Bakar):

With names like Tundukkan Playboy Itu (Dominate the Playboy), Budak Hostel Otaknya Sewel (Hostel Kids Are Crazy) and Mr & Mrs. Sweet, Malay-language novels are riding high on the bestseller lists in bookstores around the country.

However, with themes largely revolving around love, sex, ghosts and gangsterism, parents and teachers alike are up in arms over the effects that 'pulp' Malay novels are having on the development and language of young Malaysians.

Took them long enough. Or this might be the loudest protest they raised thus far about the matter. Though I think some pulp novels are better than others.

"Teachers and parents who try to read these books feel embarrassed by the subject matter," said a language expert from the National Institute of Language and Literature (DBP).

"The direct effect is that we as a nation have become more bangang (stupid) and backward, she added. "Most of the books draw both Malay and Indian teens, between 50-60 per cent of the youngsters who read. Our kids have becoming increasingly shallow over the past 20 years. They were much better off when they were just reading Doraemon comics, at least they were fueled towards invention."

The article says more, which is quite interesting. I hope it stays up for a bit, as online NST pieces used to disappear after a while.



Travel writer and photographer Bani Amor and activist India Harris discuss how travel writing by white people can be problematic. A few passages that stuck out include: "...a backpacker wants to set themselves apart from other tourists because they may have an intellectual or humanitarian interest in a given place and are somehow less responsible for the consumerism and inequality enforced by traveler/tourist communities."



It's supposed to hurt, says John Scalzi on the cultural boycotts over North Carolina's discriminatory law against LGBTs.

Responding to opinions by people who felt "hurt" by the boycott, Scalzi wrote, among other stuff: "I understand the bookseller would like their boycott to pass her by; I understand why the other writer wants authors to think of the children. Let us also make space for the argument that those authors are thinking of the children and are leveraging what they have — their notability and the desirability of their presence — to make sure some of those children are not actively discriminated against by the state."



An author hired a publicist to market her book and is miffed that all she got for US$395 was a tweet. Naturally, she wants her money back. Generally, I wouldn't recommend marketers who charge for publicising books and stuff. But I wonder if this outfit, Ironrod Media, found the title challenging.



"The book didn't sell and yes, I was mean-spirited enough to rejoice." NZ book editor Stephen Stratford wrote the article all editors would eventually write. This is pretty instructional, and as an editor, helpful in my transition from "wanker" to, well, "editor".

I also wonder if Stratford could've saved the book for the previously mentioned author.



An "exhilarating" Man Booker shortlist has been announced, with Turkish Nobel-winner Orhan Pamuk competing with pseudonymous Italian Elena Ferrante and Chinese dissident Yan Lianke. Someone (forgot who) raised an interesting question: Will a pseudonym take home the gong?

Another announced shortlist is for the 2016 International Dublin Literary award, which includes debut novels Academy Street by Mary Costello (Ireland) and Our Lady of the Nile by Scholastique Mukasonga (translated from French by Melanie Mauthner), Your Fathers, Where Are They? And the Prophets, Do They Live Forever? by Dave Eggers and Marlon James's A Brief History of Seven Killings, winner of the 2015 Man Booker Prize.



Looks like some people in Spain aren't happy about a series of programmes commemorating William Shakespeare.

Shakespeare Lives aims to reach half a billion people worldwide - the first screenings of The Complete Walk, 37 short films to represent the complete body of the bard's stage plays, took place this last weekend. The Spanish government's action plan for [Miguel de] Cervantes, on the other hand, seems far less ambitious... and leans heavily on exhibitions and conferences in big city museums and libraries.

As I understand from the BBC article, the Spanish in general aren't as hot about local boy cervantes than The Bard. But perhaps it's more about the nature of their works.



James Baldwin's Giovanni's Room is judged by web site Literary Hub to have the best erotic passage. So there is a contest that's the opposite of Literary Review's Bad Sex Award, which sees more contestants.

Because, according to LitHub, "There is a good reason most awards given for sex writing are for bad sex writing: to commit to words that most intimate and personal act is generally a doomed undertaking," said LitHub. "For even our best writers, to describe sex is to veer between the biological and the euphemistic, the soft-focus and the fluorescent. It rarely works. And yet many have tried, and will continue to do so."

Wednesday 13 April 2016

Wee-vil, Wee-vill Miss You

Anybody seen Monday's copy of The Star? Did anybody notice the word play in the reports related to the cover story?


Well, even print is getting clickbait-y, I thought. That Queen
song started playing almost immediately.


As a top palm-oil producer, these pests are about as welcome as the haze or the current heatwave. Seriousness of the problem aside, I felt the writer dropped the ball after the puns. So I thought, why not go all the way and make it a poem/song thingy?


Good one. Obvious choice, but a good one, nonetheless.


With my brain burning with ideas, I barely touched my lunch until it threatened to go colder, so I went back to the office after a few bites and hammered it out. This is a tightened version of the one I put up on Facebook, which I think sums up the article(s) pretty well...


Look at all your palm trees, coconut trees
Growing tall for your annual GDP
You got mud on your face, you big disgrace
So watch us bugs put you back into your place

WEE-VIL WEE-VIL ROCK YOU
WEE-VIL WEE-VIL ROCK YOU

All those tasty palm trees, coconut trees
Gonna turn 'em all into dead trees some day
And splash mud on your face, you big disgrace
No pest control gonna put us in our place

Yessir WEE-VIL WEE-VIL ROCK YOU
(Damn right, we will) WEE-VIL WEE-VIL ROCK YOU

Bore into your palm trees, turn 'em into gone trees
Makin' lots of babies along the way
With iron jaws (CHOMP) and sharp sharp claws (STOMP)
Overrunning plantations without a pause

Singing WEE-VIL WEE-VIL ROCK YOU
(Aww, yiss!) WEE-VIL WEE-VIL ROCK YOU

All you scientists, doctors, engineers,
Swear you'll halt our advance, you say (Uh-huh?)
Ain't that egg on your face, you big disgrace?
Poor sorry excuses for the human race (Ha ha!)

WEE-VIL WEE-VIL ROCK YOU
WEE-VIL WEE-VIL ROCK YOU

One more time-

Look at all your palm trees, coconut trees
Growing tall for your annual GDP
You got mud on your face, you big disgrace
So watch us bugs put you back into your place

WEE-VIL WEE-VIL ROCK YOU
WEE-VIL WEE-VIL ROCK YOU

All those tasty palm trees, coconut trees
Gonna turn 'em all into dead trees some day
And splash mud on your face, you big disgrace
No pest control can put us back into our place

Yessir WEE-VIL WEE-VIL ROCK YOU
WEE-VIL WEE-VIL ROCK YOU (Altogether now!)

WEE-VIL WEE-VIL ROCK YOU
(Sing it!) WEE-VIL WEE-VIL ROCK YOU...



I heard later that the journalist who penned the punny reports will soon be leaving The Star. So here's to you, ma'am. Keep rocking it, wherever you go.


14/04/2016   By the way, the red palm weevil (Rhynchophorus ferrugineus) is also known as the Asian palm weevil or sago palm weevil, which means its young are, yes, those plump cream-coloured sago worms, which will grow up to be the future killers of the palm oil industry.

That's not so comforting if you think about it. You'd have to cut open the trunk of a palm tree to get to these grubs and an abundance of them means the tree might be gone. So eating them into extinction to save the oil palms (and do a bit of national service) isn't a viable solution, even if (some would say) it's tasty.