It's 2014 And I Still See...

...this:

[The s]tock market lets you buy into [a] variety of good businesses...

Don’t get be discourage[d] by their somber [sombre] stories. Instead, find out why they failed. Ask whether did they know [knew] what they were doing? [full stop, not question mark]

Plus[,] when you invest in stocks [–] or any others investment[s,] for that matter [–] of fact, you must have the fundamental believe [belief] that the economy will be fine.

After a certain point, you stop wondering why and just do the needful.

People tend to ignore the fundamental[s] and [are] comfortable put[ting] their money into ventures they completely have no clue know nothing what is it about. [certain fundamentals were probably ignored when writing this sentence, too]

Once you have grape[grasped] - [is the author trying to make me happy?] these points, you will able to...

That explain[s] why he has brilliance[brilliant] views on the stocks that he owns. He is also patience[patient] and discipline[d] - [argh] when [it] come[s] to investing.

It's a living.

(No need to guess which manuscript this came from. I see enough to create examples for educational purposes.)

Too-Much-Coffee Editor

It's not often that I turn the red pen towards non-manuscripts, but I felt the need to in this case.

Look, Farm Fresh has a new product: ready-to-drink caffè latte.

The same people who brought us such delights as Nubian Goat's Milk (with the messy, user-unfriendly web site) released this product, which I found at the Cold Storage in the newly opened Jaya Shopping Centre at Section 14, Petaling Jaya.

I bought a bottle. I am attracted by new things, especially new coffee things.

The folks at Ladang Anglo Nubian seem very excited about this product, so much so that they felt the need to state that, yes, this is Caffè Latte.

"With real coffee".

And it contains caffeine! Like, you know ... coffee! Not just any coffee, but ... double espresso! Like it says (again) on the graphic of the coffee cup. That's why got "Extra KICK!"

The expiry date should go somewhere else where it won't mar the aesthetics of the coffee-cup drawing.

So, don't play-play! Farm Fresh "Double Espresso Double" Caffè Latte with "Extra KICK" will kick your eyes open big-big!

With "Eyes Wide Open", I see that they don't use "preservative" (which one?) and "stabilizer" (again, which one? And is that US spelling? Likely Microsoft Word).

"700 grm"? Thought millilitre ("ml" or "mL") is generally used in this part of the world.

Now, the back. Again, Farm Fresh reminds us that this is Caffè Latte. "With real coffee". And it contains caffeine! Like, you know ... coffee! Because they're so, like, excited! Also sounds as though they've been stealing sips of their own product.

Coffee has caffeine by default; only tell people when it's decaf.

Shouldn't it be "Ingredients", since there's three of them? Which includes "100% Fresh Cow's Milk" (which you state is "100% Genuine")?

And I'm sure the Celsius should be in uppercase.

They should break the line after "Petaling", perhaps. And if you only have one address (Malaysian), there's no need to emphasise that it's a Malaysian number.

Overall, it's a good idea. But the coffee tastes somewhat medicinal, complex. There's coffee in there, along with other flavours with a hint of ... essence of chicken, for instance. And I barely felt the 'kick' - the downside of having a years-old coffee habit that makes you, well, kind of numb towards anything weaker than a triple espresso.

Great concept, not-too-great product. I'm not sure if all that info was placed there to conform to some industry template, but it could've been done better.

Back to the drawing board, you guys. And this time, with "Eyes Wide Open", please?

I buy the fresh stuff (100% Genuine Fresh!) from you and this variant looks good on the shopping list.

PS: Just learnt that the term is spelled caffè latte (Italian for "milk coffee"). Stands to reason, since modern coffee culture is mainly Italian. So all of us who called it café latte all this time were mixing French and Italian.


10/01/2016  Quite late, but it seems the Farm Fresh people have addressed most of the issues I had.

I think it's because the fixes were done long before and that the first batch of products with the problem labels have sold out.

The Desolation Of Smug

November 2013 marks my third year as a books editor. Though I had few illusions as to what I'd be facing when I took this job, these three years have thrown quite a fair bit my way.

"Spend one year in this job and you'll see it all," I was told. Well, not quite. I ended up believing I ain't seen nothin' yet.

Certain issues keep me from fully chronicling my editorial exploits in public. What I can say, though, is plus ça change, plus c'est la même. What does change is the pace. Production has been ramped up of late and it's hard to keep up.

Nine months after I had my sinuses operated on, they have started running again. Just when I've gotten used to sniffle-free mornings.

These days and a little while back, my days looked just like this:

Hint: I'm the one with the sword (photo from here)

And the dragon often won.

My ego - or what's left of it - has taken a beating in the past few months. Not since my brief stint in the media have I experienced anything similar. Although I will always regard the ego-kicking I received in my media stint as the hardest.

In a previous life, I was considered among the best technical writers in my company. My skills in documenting were in demand. My command of English was once graded "superb".

But all that didn't help a lot with the copywriting and editing I'm doing today. There are techniques to be even better at those, which I have yet to master.

Don't be fooled into thinking that cookbooks and children's books are easy-peasy because of the simple grammar and writing style. Blind spots will appear and you'll be left red-faced.

It's been a long, hard comedown from those heady tech-writing days.

I have some hope that the next year will bring new things, more things. Right now, I'm also looking at the press releases and promo materials, besides the growing pile of manuscripts under my care.

I'm also hoping to acquire skills and means that will help me edit 'scripts better, en route towards being a reputable editor that strikes awe into hearts and minds.

I imagine that one day, after a couple of decades, a mountain of 'scripts, gallons of red ink and a dozen or so best-sellers, every meeting with an aspiring author will look like this:

Hint: I'm NOT the one with the sword (photo from here)

I was told that I'm a simple man with low-key preferences, no lofty ambitions, and no desire for the spotlight. True in a sense.

But I think I might have the makings of an ambition now.

First, I need to revisit the other parts of my life I seem to keep neglecting: time management, sleep schedules and priorities.

"Third Book! Third Book!"

So I was at the recent MPH Warehouse Sale 2013 and this guy was also there to autograph his books and other related merchandise.

Boey Cheeming, author of When I Was A Kid 1 and 2, at Food Foundry
(Section 17, PJ) book signing, 07 September 2013

Yes, the same guy "whose nuts I (apparently) made famous", to paraphrase a former colleague.

This guy asked me what the next step was, now that he has two books out, as well as calendars, T-shirts, and custom Sharpie marker pens.

Feeling a wee bit responsible for his rock-star status, I advised him to go slow and take a break for a bit. I felt that he'd been burning both ends, doing his book tours, talks, and media interviews and photo shoots. He'd fallen sick at least once during his latest homecoming tour.

"Oh, really?" he went, and sought a second opinion from a colleague at the distribution side.

"No, he should keep up the momentum," she said with a look that searched me for signs of mental illness.

"Exactly," said the rock star. "There'd be trouble if her boss heard what you just said."

How are sales doing, I asked.

"Very good," my colleague said. "In fact, the second book is selling better than the first."

When I saw the first book, I didn't expect it to shoot to the moon, either. I'd felt it was good enough that I'd managed to help get the book sold in Malaysia and maybe Singapore.

So my colleague's sentiments were basically, "Third book! Third book!"

Better than hot cakes: Boey's When I Was A Kid, Books 1 and 2

Then we turned to the tudunged fangirls lining up to have their books and stuff signed, and get a custom sketch for their upcoming birthdays plus a photo with Rock Star.

What next after Book Two, we asked them.

"Third book! Third book!"

Guess it was to be expected.

"He has a following," one tudunged lady said, adding that everybody reads his blog, he's so funny, and all that, so of course they will want a third book - maybe a fourth and a fifth....

And here I am, worried over whether he will burn out, like a rock star of the musical variety. Rock Star works hard for his success. He takes every opportunity he can to promote his books, himself, and the notion that you can be successful doing what you love.

And he gives his fans what they want. Custom autographs? Sure thing. Want a Diablo doodle with his signature? No problem. A sketch of a Dungeons and Dragons card-game character? No sweat.

Obliging author doodles Diablo for a fan

Some authors should take a leaf out of his book and burn the leaf that says "Who needs all that? My book sells itself." That's not true anymore - but has that ever been true?

Given that this book thing is all he's doing right now to make a buck, I suppose he is putting in the hours.

Some friends of a friend are nuts about his books as well. Relatable, they said of his childhood stories, and funny. My signed copy of Book 1 went to Turkey with a friend, who also took my signed copy of Book 2 to India - both with permission.

It's likely Friends of a Friend are also going, "Third book! Third book!" as well.

So maybe I shouldn't have rained on his parade by suggesting that he take a break - and miss all the fun of making a book and flying around meeting fans of all ages and demographics.

But I do want to see what comes out of his Sharpie for many years to come. I've read about how fame devours celebrities and it's something I wouldn't wish on anyone, even on bad days.

I'm hoping that Rock Star's crowd is much better.

Arguably Apostrophic

A debate on possessives and apostrophes was sparked by a book project, which I assumed was because of aesthetics.

Barring some circumstances, the apostrophe-S is generally placed in front of nouns ending with "S" to denote that they own whatever that follows, e.g. "Charles's apples" or "Hermès's summer collection".

For some situations, the Americans have largely done away with the "S" after the apostrophe, but the Chicago Manual of Style is okay with either "Dickens' novel" or "Dickens's novel", though they prefer the latter.

Online comic The Oatmeal has a simpler, more concise guide to apostrophe usage. It's okay with both.

However, Strunk and White say 'ancient' names such as Jesus and Moses don't need the "S". While "Jesus' home" is fine, you can write it as "the home of Jesus" if you think the former is harder to pronounce. Maybe Hermès qualifies as well. Other situations where the apostrophe-S can be omitted is when it makes something hard to read out loud.

I never liked the tendency to simplify everything for the sake of 'efficiency'. Coding web pages that only look fine on Internet Explorer back in the day meant not having to strictly adhere to W3C standards, but it made programmers and designers sloppy. Same goes for copy editors.

In the end, when standards are all over the place, you gotta have a style guide to refer to. Pick a set of conventions for proofing copy and stick to them.

I much prefer the apostrophe-S. Cumbersome as it is, at least it implies that "Charles" or "Hermès" are not plural forms of "Charle" or "Hermè".

Adventures In Translation

Sometimes, editors get to read the darnedest things.


English: I can save some time.
Malay: Saya boleh menyelamatkan masa.

"That clock is falling!" he shouted. "Don't let it break!" Diving forward, his hands reached the clock before it hit the ground.

"Phew!"


English: I soon found out.
Malay: Kini saya sudah boleh melihat!

"The scales fell from my eyes!" Saul (later, Paul) exclaimed.


English: I thought he was going to faint.
Malay: Saya ingatkan dia akan pengsan.

"Hey, you!" he said, tapping her on the shoulder. "Act III, Scene 4. This is where you pass out."

"Oh, right," she mumbles and collapses onto the floor.

The director clutched at his face. "Cut!"


English: He threw his head back.
Malay: Dia menolak kepalanya sampai ke belakang.

Because his neck muscles had gone slack. Surprised this wasn't translated into, "Dia melontar kepalanya ke belakang."


...and that's just the tip of the iceberg. It makes the job interesting, at least.

Editing Manuscripts ... Like Deboning Fish

Sometimes, cookbook editing is the pits, especially for multilingual cookbooks. Grammar can be flexible, the writing can be boring and, if the recipes look good, you're hungry even before you're halfway through.

The instructions, however, have to be concise and clear-cut.

I spent far too much time on Thursday quibbling with a sales exec (and sometimes proofreader) about whether a word should be standardised as "fillet" or "fillets" throughout the whole book. One of them situational things.

When you say "300g of grass carp fillet", do you expect one fillet to weigh exactly 300g, or a bunch of fillets weighing 300g in total?

But if you say "2 Spanish mackerel fillets", then it can't be "fillet" in the ingredients list or instructions, right?

And what happens to the "fillet(s)" when you cut it (or them) into strips or pieces?

In some of the recipes, chunks of Spanish mackerel so do not look like they were filleted. Some recipes even instruct the reader to "debone" actual fillet(s).

To quote the meaning of "fillet" in a culinary context from the Wiktionary (italics mine): "A strip or compact piece of meat or fish from which any bones and skin and feathers have been removed."

Like what you see below.

The mackerel "fillets" in the recipes look like:

The whitish thingy in the centre is the spine. That's a mackerel steak. Though I'm not sure if it's known as such in Malaysia.

...Talk about bone(s) of contention.

I finally decided that if the number of pieces is stated it's "fillets". If the weight is mentioned, it's "300g of grass carp fillet" - like in this recipe - because when it comes to meat, people usually say "300g of beef/chicken/pork". Though one might be in a quandary when confronted with "brinjal", "pumpkin", "zucchini", "endive" or "tomato(es)".

As for the instructions, I cut out "fillet(s)" altogether, where applicable, and used either "fish" or the type of fish. Except for recipes where the number of pieces are mentioned. I have no clue as yet about what to do with the Spanish mackerel.

...maybe deboning fish would be much hard- sorry, easier.

Language Pollution And Le Mot Juste

first published in The Malaysian Insider, 24 October 2012


Some time ago, some linguistic Paul Revere came riding out of a foggy night, lantern in hand, yelling, "The Britishisms are here!"

Apparently, some common British terms are creeping into American English, thanks in part to British-made entertainment drifting from the other side of the pond.

I'd like to think the New York Times article was written with some tongue in the writer's cheek, but in case it isn't, here's the irascible and oft-quotable John Scalzi's classic response to it. Yeah, "silly, silly article."

Creeping foreign influences on language, I guess, is everybody's issue. Especially when one's country happens to be an important crossroads along key trade routes, part of or originator of an empire, or some combination of the afore-mentioned. The need to invent words in one's native language for some foreign object or concept can be seen as one attempt to keep things "local".

As it becomes easier for the world to creep (or barge) in, that gets harder.

During Japan's Meiji era, the country adopted the best of the West: banking, industry, defence and so on, a practice that continued well into the present day and made them a world economic power.

The case for borrowing and incorporating foreign words to speed up the enrichment of a language to make it more global, therefore, seems solid, especially when a bureaucracy is stretched beyond its limits by other needs to invent new words in a "native" language that convey exactly what an object, idea or concept is ― or come close to doing so.

Some nationalistic elements, however, claim this type of borrowing dilutes rather than enriches the "native: culture and identity. In Malaysia, for instance, these elements appear wilfully ignorant that certain words in the vocabulary have origins in Arabic, Chinese, Portuguese and Sanskrit, among others.

From the photo, it's tempting to assume that Gustave Flaubert's
(1821-1880) receding hairline is due to the pressures of finding
le mots justes. How stressful was it to write books such as
Madame Bovary?

To some extent, language is malleable, and the way some societies shape words and ideas to communicate better and more concisely is not too different from how our ancestors shaped stone and bone to hunt and fish. But there's always the urge to brand the tools and tool-making technique as one's own, fuelled by the need to forge a unique identity.

What got me thinking ― not too deeply, though ― about this was, for one, the complexity in editing several cookbooks. Some ingredients, such as "asam Gelugor", lack what I feel are more concise English translations or equivalents and, as such, one can only fall back on the Latin-based (ha) naming conventions invented by Carl Linnaeus.

I had a harder time when I wrote a piece on herbal teas. For instance, some sources can't agree on whether "beizicao" ― or "bukcheechou" in Cantonese ― should be written as 北子草 ("northerner grass" ― kinda) or 北紫草 ("northern purple grass"), or if the herb is known as such in mainland China.

More recently, a colleague had some trouble translating "tingle" into Malay. The given Malay equivalent in a bilingual dictionary is "(rasa) gelenyar", though I have no idea when it got in there. We settled on "gelenyar", more because there doesn't seem to be anything else.

While some may argue or lament that certain quarters are unnecessarily borrowing foreign words or substituting local words with imports, those processes shouldn't be seriously curtailed or stopped entirely for the sake of protecting the purity of one's mother tongue or national language.

As the feisty Erna Mahyuni stated in The Malaysian Insider, "You don't "protect" [the national language] by discouraging the mastery of other languages." She was commenting mainly on the state of Malay-to-English translation, but I feel that mastery of languages is also crucial in developing one's lexicon.

Many of us may not be as anal-retentive as Gustave Flaubert when it comes to the quest for the right word. However, a wordsmith's bag of tricks can never have too many items.

If the word fits, use it.